A Simple Christmas Celebration

Wondering whether am I getting older...

I no longer like to celebrate those festival in crowded place...

hanging around in pub or Upper Penang road is definitely not in my list of celebration location anymore =)

and this year...

I had my peaceful but happy Christmas day with two lovely people...

Danny and my beloved sister, Gwenyse...

brought my sis go to Straits Quay have a walk during christmas eve...

We didn't celebrate our christmas with turkeys or beers but only count down it by having supper at a mamak stall which is selling cheap food...

but I got no idea why I still happy with it...

we chat....

we laugh...

we eat...

our schedule is just that simple...

but for sure...

but three of us really very enjoy spending time with each others...

.

in fact, we were not having our tea time but beer time >.<

We were having a good tea time with my sis and Danny at Eldeiweiss again as she did mentioned to ask me and Danny bring her there in FB while she come to Penang...

and us finally made our promise >.<

and my sis brought me and Danny go and try out the peanut paste chee cheong fun which is located at greenlane...

I gotta say it...

this chee cheong fun is delicious...

Me and Danny felt shamed that how come a KL girl brough two "Penang Lang" go and search for Penang food... sounds weird....

Rojak + Fried chicken + Laksa + Tau Fu Fa....

THANKS TO MY SIS AND DANNY A LOTS FOR GIVING ME SUCH A WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS...

I LOVE YOU BOTH...

MUACKS MUACKS MUACKS~~~~

Pic of my sister

and a pic of Danny >.<

Stress Free Moment

I’m not sure whether the decision that I made last night is correct or not but I think It would be the good decision to me for the moment right now. It’s been some time that I didn’t really feel so release and relax. I have been working 3 jobs for few months and it causes me work 7 days a week without a off day. No doubt, all my jobs are interesting. As a freelance fashion designer, I do beautiful dresser for my customer. As a music teacher, I have fun while teaching my student and educate them with music. As an activation executive of an event company, I do have a lot of chances to meet new hot chicks =)

Nothing is perfect, even life though. Things in our life might not go smoothly as you wish. Everything in life, it will always nice and beautiful at the beginning. But the greatness of the person or things hardly last long. Soon, the time shows you the ugly part. I think it applies into anything whether it’s about your relationship, friendship or even your job.

I’m not that kind of person who likes to complain a lot. But I do found out myself file lots of complains nowadays. I complain about my previous relationship, I complain about my job. I cried last night. One of my jobs has brought me a lot of pressure. I think it’s good for me to resign because I’m pretty sure that I really can’t take it anymore. Everyone has their limit and it just over my limit. Today, I wake up from my bed with a super good feeling. I feel relax and release.

I try to deal with the stress issue before. But it seems not working correctly. Communicating with someone who always think he or she is right is just like talking to a stone. Even when it comes to argument, even when I tried to voice out what I think in my mind. At the end, the result is remain same. Dealing with an ego person is a tough job because he or she will never accept your suggestion or explanation. At the point where he or she thinks he or she is always right. I think it wastes my time to communicate with him or her anymore.

I hate stress. A woman under stress is not immediately concerned with finding solutions to her problems but rather seeks relief by expressing herself and being understood. I think I would rather to choose to treat my life more like a party than something to stress about. I understand the theory of stress is a must in part of our life to make ourselves improve to become more productive and initiative but when the pressure has reached some certain level. I personally think that it can kill me. Living my day with full of stresses without smiling happily. It’s suck!!!

The day while I start feeling scare and unhappy when each time I walk into my office. I think it’s time for me to leave the company. Money cannot buy my happiness away.

I read this from internet: When you find yourself stressed, ask yourself one question, “Will this matter in 5 years from now? If yes, then do something about the situation. If no, then let it go.” My answer is yes. And the ‘something’ that I did about the situation is leaving. Stay away from the place where brings me too much pressure.

It makes no sense to worry about things you have no control over because there's nothing you can do about them, and why worry about things you do control? The activity of worrying keeps you immobilized. So I have made a decision for myself to get out from that situation. I asked myself several times before I make up my mind whether will I feel regret about it. And the answer that I gave myself is NO. I wouldn’t feel any regret on this decision.

I would appreciate a little bit of stress appears in my life to improve myself but definitely I’m not welcome TOO MANY unnecessary stresses come and find me. Sorry to say that, I can’t take it and I don’t want to take it.

Right now, I’m having my stress free moment. Having a cup of cappuccino; spending my time in a café writing my blog. I feel great! I’m really feeling great at this moment.

I WANNA GET MY $$ BACK

A friend of mine asked if he could borrow money from me and he promised to pay me back within few months. I was trying to be a good friend and loaned him some cash to help ease his financial burdens. And the reason he gave me about borrowing the money is to do his personal stuff. But end up, I didn't seeing him settle his personal stuff by using that money in fact, I saw lots of his clubbing photos which is telling me he didn't even give a fuck about his “personal” stuff.

It’s okay with me to lend some money out when I got extra and my friend really need it. And now, he is avoiding me. Whenever I get a chance to talk to him regarding his loan, he would give me an excuse about not having enough money yet and promises to pay me back as soon as possible. I’ve been waiting and waiting… until I got no more patience…

I notice our friendship slowly turns sour and feelings get hurt. While the loan remains unpaid, the feelings of anger and resentment towards hi m begins to consume me.

I believe that many times in our life, we would be asked by a family member or a friend if they could borrow some money. The reasons may different but most of the time, it’s our intention to be a good friend that lend them a helping hand from us.

Sometimes, a friend may come along who isn't so hesitant about taking money, but hesitant when it comes to giving it back. All it takes is a firm reminder and a little patience!

AND I’M NOW LOSING MY PATIENCE ESPECIALLY IT’S ALREADY END OF THE YEAR AND I ALSO NEED THE MONEY FOR MY “PERSONAL” STUFF!

I’m figuring a way out on how to get my money back… Worst come to worst, I will just let this friendship ends. While the time I try to be a good friend but it seems like he is not treating me as a friends as I think. Whatever whatever whatever…. I really started losing my temper being too good to this guy. Guess my Christmas wish of this year is to GET MY MONEY BACK!!!!

Girls and Guys should understand:

Girls should understand:
1. If the first thing of a girl can let a man think about is sex, then she might is a failure.
2. To know a man is good or bad, first you have to see what kind of friend he is mixing with.
3. Buy some books to read instead of buying cosmetics, a girl with knowledge is always better that a woman with pretty face.
4. Idiot will fall in love with your external looks, only a real man fall in love with your inner heart.
5. Actually guy is not as good as you think, you can love him truly, but do not love him too deeply.
6. Do not believe a guy while he sweet talks. Guy always can become a great poet in front of girls even they are not in the real life.
7. Beside family, the only person in this world who worth you to love the most is yourself.
8. Love is not about the process of how he tackles you. It’s a must thing that he always treat you good.



Guys should understand:
1. Don’t simply have sex with a girl if you know yourself can’t provide her a better future.
2. Don’t take the relationship as a game while she is willing to be with you in your entire life and the so called “game” is just a temporarily fun.
3. Don’t find a girlfriend just because she has a good looking. Look at the inner part of her. The reason of you has a girlfriend is because you are looking for wife but not lover.
4. A successful man definitely needs a good woman to support him. And the meaning of “good” of the woman is not about the looks but her heart and knowledge.
5. Do not spending over time on flirting with a woman. Man is born to be conquer the world but not woman.
6. Men have lot of responsibilities in their life: the responsible towards their parents, the responsible towards their woman, and the responsible towards their future.
7. Do not play around a woman’s feeling, one day, you will pay back.
8. Choose your friends carefully because it can influence you and the good friend always guide you in the way of being good person.

A Lovely Sunday Homemade Dinner

Sunday to me is just a nothing... It's not a weekend for me to rest or relax and I need to

teach music from early in the morning until evening...

I decided to cook myself a lovely dinner to cheer myself up and release myself from the pressure of working....

After being busy in my kitchen for 2 hours...

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TADA!!!

This is the meal that I cooked myself just now. I can't even finish the burger sandwich yet...

Plus a glass of homemade gin and lemon cocktail....

Oh yeah~~~

I think I had cheered myself up successfully today~~~

I LOVE COOKING~~~

Can I just simply sing right now? la la la la la la la la la~~~~~~~~~~

=)

No More MS.YES

Since yesterday I dare to voice out my mind to someone and don’t even give a fuck who he is and what he wants. I think it's good to be Ms.NO instead of Ms.YES! Previously, I do not know how to reject people when they asked me for help and end up,I mess up my life by not saying the “NO” word.

Trying to be nice and good to people not everyone of them will appreciate it and show their gratitude towards you. Sigh~~~ I have to accept the truth of normal human being! Everyone was born to be selfish! At least a small little piece of selfishness will be found inside of them.

I know I have a very big trouble saying “no”. But sometimes I have to learn how to say this word to protect myself from those who try to get advantage from me. Things that I see after being friend with certain people, I found out he or she will treat you very good and nice while they need you. When they know you are no longer “useful” to them, they might just kick you out of their life.

For example, there’s a guy friend who was used to very close with me and said want to rape my family when he knew that I can’t offer my help to him anymore. I was shocked while I heard it! How fragile is our friendship… It can just simply spoiled by a few words. However, I don’t feel regret by saying the word “NO! I CAN’T HELP YOU!” and it helps me to see his personality very clearly after this case.

Smart people will learn their mistake from the others, normal people will learn from their own mistake. IDIOTS NEVER LEARN!!!!

To all the idiots, stop trying taking advantage from me... Friendship or relationship is not a business, you can't calculate the percentage of take and give from each other. And I had learnt to be firm when dealing with idiots!

Guess I will be more enjoying being Ms.NO rather than Ms.YES....

Learn to say 'no' to the good so you can say 'yes' to the best.

Learn to Love Myself More

To love myself is the beginning of a life-long romance. It’s such a good feeling when I start learning to “fall in love” with myself and I wanna tell you all… Self-love is the greatest of all flatterers. =)

In my past life, I’ve spent much time looking for the best and romantic partner but I realized that it was just meant to fill the emptiness inside my heart. It is a horrible way to live a life filled with constant worrying about the others or too fall in love with someone. So why not love yourself at first, and everything will falls into line. If you are not good at loving yourself, you will have a difficult time loving anyone.

Love and Desire are two different things.

Desire says,"I do not love myself so I must have this."

Desire comes from lacking something.

While love says-"I love myself and want to share that love with others."

When I don’t love myself, I’m basically telling the Universe that I’m unworthy or undeserving of any love. So, I decide to plant my own garden and decorate my own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring me flowers. I’m learning to love myself starts with making a conscious decision, an intention to become happy and lead a fulfilled life.

I DON'T LOVE MYSELF, I'M CRAZY ABOUT MYSELF. The way I treat myself sets the standard for others. I had spent so much time on loving someone but not myself… It sounds so ridiculous… I should love myself instead of abusing myself.

So, I start doing whatever I love to do, because I love myself! I start injecting some fun into my life. Life is meant to be an enjoyable. I don’t want to take life or myself too seriously. If I can think of life in this manner, I will automatically relax and quit worrying over things that do not matter.

I learn to fall in love with myself…

I learn to be kind and think positive all the time…

I learn to trust myself and be truthful to myself….

I learn to boost my self-confidence….

I learn to bring my dreams to my life…

I learn to see beauty in everything….

I learn to have fun and relax…

And I learn to enjoy my life…

My brain and my heart are telling me the same things nowadays, if I still don’t loving myself more… few years from now I will be more disappointed and regret by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.

ALWAYS REMEMBER THIS:

"It's not your job to like me - it's mine"

A street called Lebuh Armenian

It was a wonderful Saturday~~~

2 weeks ago, Danny and I were looking for the "Amelia" cafe after breakfast.

and finally, we reached a street called Lebuh Armenian, the street where Amelia cafe is located at...

It's just a short and small street but I felt so impressed...

We saw lots of antique and old stuff over there...

and this is one of the reason

WHY I LOVE PENANG....

Cheah Kongsi

Mahjong ^^ my favourite activity XD

Here's some history about Armenian Street that I read in internet:

Armenian Street is a street in the inner city of George Town and within the core zone of the Unesco World Heritage Site. It derives its name from a Armenian family that had its home at the junction of the now Armenian Street and Beach Street in the early part of the 19th century. The Armenians had arrived in Penang by way of India. By 1822, they had established their church, the Armenian Church of St Gregory, which was located when Bangunan Mayban Trust standing today. It was some eleven years older than the Armenian Church of St Gregory in Singapore. It was demolished around 1937, by which time most of the Armenians had packed up and left Penang.

In the earlier days, Armenian Street was known as Malay Lane. This is due to the presence of a Malay settlement, which can still be seen today with such monuments as the Acheen Street Mosque and Penang Islamic Museum in that vicinity.

Armenian Street developed more and more a Chinese appearance as Chinese traders moved into the area from the turn of the 20th century. Clan temples such as Cheah Kongsi,Yap Kongsi and Khoo Kongsi were established either on or within a stone's throw of Armenian Street. Traders and merchants of these clans helped to finance the mining of tin in the Larut district of Perak, which resulted in much prosperity flowing into the Armenian Street area from the 1860s right through to the early 20th century.

Unfortunately, Amelia cafe was closed due to the reason of renovation while we finally found it.

gotta find another place to have a drink...

With a bit disappointed that the Amelia cafe was closed... I found another cafe called "Edelwiess" =) and I did found some suprise over there...

Nice bar

Danny ^^

We ordered a cup of latte and brew coffee...

Danny taught me a way to taste latte... pour the sugar on top of the foam, so while you drink it, you might taste the sweetness on your lips but it wouldn't spoil the original taste of latte...

I'm still a beginner of tasting coffee so I hardly rate the coffee over there...

What I can say is OK la... not so bad but not that good... and the price is reasonable.... cheaper that Starbucks XP

the interior design of Edelwiess cafe

Me and Danny

Well, I think it's time to explore more places in Penang! I have been staying at Penang for 6 years and I just start learning to speak Hokkien and appreciate every single litlle place of Penang... Hope that it's not considering as late yet to me to do so =)

ANTI Rumors and Gossips

Rumors and gossips, these’re the things that I had learnt a lot in this year. FIRST OF ALL, I WANT TO SAY SORRY TO THOSE I HAD TALKED SOMETHING BAD BOUT HIM OR HER. True or not, private is private and I shouldn’t say it out even though it’s a truth. Everyone have their own purpose of life, No matter I agree with it or not, it’s none of my business and I definitely got no right to comment about people’s life.

I think the hardest part about being human is dealing with other human - the criticism and the ridicule, the gossip and rumors. I was finding out an answer by goggling that why people love to spread rumors and gossip about the others and these are the “standard” answer that I can find it through internet:
• To feel superior
• For attention
• To feel like part of the group
• Out of jealousy or a need for revenge
• Out of boredom

There are so many reasons that why people love to spread rumors and gossip. They may misunderstand a situation, want revenge, or just want to be a part of a gang of friends. I think that people spread rumors and gossip because they are either bored, mad at that person, trying to stir up some activity, or to get attention.

I’m not a saint. I have to admit that I did gossip about people but I don’t really know whether this considers as rumors or not because I said what I know and what I see when people asked. Whatever it’s right or wrong. I shouldn’t do it. It's not wrong to be nice to everybody but learn to be true to only few. So you won't end up being betrayed by someone whom you've trusted.

Words hurt as much as a punch. Sometimes more, because a punch may be painful, but at least it will over quite fast. When a person or a group makes up a rumor about someone, it’s usually to hurt someone, break up a friendship, or make someone less popular. It’s the same thing as teasing, only it’s done behind someone’s back instead of to his or her face.

I agree that gossip and rumors can destroy trust. We need to be able to trust our friends, and gossiping and rumors can break this trust. If I tell a personal secret to a friend, and he turns around and blabs it to someone else, I might feel like I’ll get burned if I ever get close to him again. I’m now learning to put myself in someone else’s shoes.

At the end, I understand the theory of “Trust no one, tell your secrets to nobody and no one will ever betray you”. Never make negative comments or spread rumors about anyone. It depreciates their reputation and yours.





There're some quotations about rumors and gossips which I think it's quite meaningful:

"What you don't see with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth.What is told in the ear of a
man is often heard 100 miles away."

"We must set up a strong present tense against all rumors of wrath, past and to come."

"If you reveal your secrets to the wind, you should not blame the wind for revealing them to
the trees."

"Whoever gossips to you will gossip about you."

"Trying to squash a rumor is like trying to unring a bell."

"The biggest liar in the world is They Say."

"Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead."


While the day you know to stop gossiping about people, and stay away from the rumors. Your life will be much more happier and peaceful.......

The Most Important Woman in My Life

The most important woman in my life

16th of November, it’s my beloved Mother’s Birthday. And finally, I willing to take a leave off from my busy schedule and went to KL and celebrate her birthday together with my sister.

My mom is the toughest woman that I ever meet. She stopped her study after standard 6. She is not well-educated; she couldn't speak fluent English or Malay. Sometimes, her ignorance even mess up her life. But she never ever throws in the towel towards her life.

My mom gave birth to me when she was 19 years old. She thought she had found her happiness life with my father but unfortunately it was an unsuccessful marriage. Just like the others, she had been searching for love for few times but unluckily, she failed and now… she no longer believes in love towards men.

Words that my mom tattoo herself on her fingers: "HATE" and "ENDURE"

She always tells me and my sister stories about our birth. She told me how important we are to her. We are the foundation of her joy, strength, peace and love. My sister and I had become the most important people and the motivation of life to her. And we both also know that, she is the most important person in our heart, too.

Me, my mom and my sis

I can’t really express how I feel about her in just words. My mom is not my whole life, but she is a really big part of it. My whole world does not only revolve around her, but she is the most influential person who inspires me. My mom is not just another woman. She is extraordinary.

She always tried her best to give us a better life. Her actions have definitely made my life more positive and productive. Had it not been for my mom, I would not be in college making something out of my life. I still remember that, from the day I decided to study fashion design after SPM. None of family members or relatives supported me except my mom. She worked hard to gain the college fees for me. When I finally earned my diploma, it would be because of my mom.

When I need a sewing machine, she bought me one.

When I get a driving license, she bought me a motor and car.

When she knows I’m tired of my work, she makes me lovely soup.

When she knows I start feeling not well, she makes me herbal tea.

Whatever I need, she always gives me.

Without her, I don’t have a chance to learn piano and organ.

Without her, I can’t be a fashion designer.

Without her, I wouldn’t be who am I nowadays…

She might not be the smartest woman.

But at least she taught me the meaning of love…...

I know I'm the one my mom worries the most compare to my younger sister due to I'm still naive most of the time. Hardly ask her not to worry so much because sometimes I even agree with what people said about me that I have a bad arrangement of my life... I never ever make a promise to her that how am I going to improve myself and not to make her worry. Because I don't want to brake a promise. But I will show her. One day, she will realize, her daughter finally has grown up and learn to protect herself... and no longer make her feel worry...

My 5 years old student told me this when I were teaching her music, "I practice my song automatically everyday, I finish my homework before I go to sleep because I don't want my mom worry about me, and I want to make my mom feels proud of me."

While a 5 years old kid knew how to say this out... and I think I'm old enough to show my mom, SHE DOESN'T NEED TO WORRY ABOUT ME ANYMORE... AND I WILL MAKE HER FEEL PROUD OF ME =)

Feeling Grateful For Those "Difficult" People

I agreed with the said about the positive effects of being grateful and learn to be thankful for the people who have enriched our lives but I had trouble finding something to appreciate about some "difficult” people I’ve dealt with in the past. Whether they were colleagues at work I had conflicts with, intimate partners whose relationships with me ended badly, strangers who made comments I saw as insulting, or someone else, sometimes I believed I’d be better off without having had some people in my life.

When I hold on to my anger at a person from the past, I engage my minds in a hopeless conflict with reality. I constantly relive my interactions with the person in the impossible hope that, by ruminating on what happened; I can “fix” it or change it for the better.
Difficult people help us reconcile with parts of ourselves we’ve avoided facing and they remind me how much I’ve grown over time.

Recalling a difficult interaction we had with someone can remind us how far our development has come today. Many people will never know how rude are they when they say something out while they are mad. And the words they say might hurt u a lot but at the same time, I believe that it gives you some lesson. You will definitely realize something new after being hurt and for sure, you will become stronger. I think about the conversation where he broke up with me, I actually feel peaceful and empowered. I see how personally I took the things he said, and how painfully afraid I was of living without her, and I know I wouldn’t react in those ways if the breakup happened today. I’m a stronger and more self-sufficient person now. I’m grateful to him for giving me more reasons to respect and admire myself.

Difficult people present challenges we must face, and when we deal with those challenges effectively we gain self-respect. They help us admire ourselves for overcoming obstacles. The memory of my last conversation with my previous ex-boyfriends serve as a progress report showing how much I’ve matured since then. I’m grateful to them because, if they’d never been in my life, I wouldn’t have such a clear guidepost today showing how far I’ve come.

Stop pleasing everyone who surroundings you because it's a mission impossible. Everyone lives their life with different perspectives and aims. So do not change yours just because wanna to cheer them up. Live for yourself.

At the end, I prove to myself and everyone, it’s just a chapter of story in my life and I can live without him. I feel happier. Finally, I found back my pride which I had lost it long time ago… and now, I can understand the words that my friends often tell me, “I DESERVE BETTER!”

To those difficult people in my life, "GET THE FUCK OUT OFF MY LIFE =)"

I Wake Up With Joy In My Heart

It’s 11^th of November 2010. A good day for me… Because I just realise myself that I have finally let go whatever shit that had happened to me for the last few months…

I had let go the one who hurts me and I re-open my heart to let the one who cares about me the most to enter into my life…

When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. And thanks to the god, giving me a second chance and open another new door of happiness for me and I’m walking into it right now.

"No man is worth your tears, and the one who is won't make you been cry." I’ve been crying for someone who is not worth my time to do so… I cry and cry for nothing… No doubt, he did bring me some happiness... But sometimes, I have got no idea why I don't wake up from it when it came to sadness and tiredness. Guess i'm quite good in hypnotizing myself from anything and everything. The tears that I shed did not go to waste, instead it helped clean my eyes to see clearly.

I WAKE UP WITH JOY FINALLY...

I really wake up with joy in my heart...

Thanks to my friends who was there to share my sadness all these while…

And thanks to those who used to fool me around….

I wouldn’t blame anyone… It's all part and parcel of experience that I have gained in my life, it helped me to see that there's a lot more to life and I can look forward to a better future …

A lot of happiness is waiting for me... And here am I coming~~~